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Since starting this blog and writing under a pseudonym well over a year ago, I’ve struggled with the decision of whether or not I should continue to use pseudonyms for everyone in my family. After much careful thought, I have decided to start sharing our adventures in Growing Up Savvy using our given names.
The decision hasn’t been an easy one but, given the globalization of our society, my willingness to share our life through pictures and stories, and knowledge that even the most secretive and protected identities can be discovered, has led to the ultimate decision to continue from hereupon. If you’re new to this blog, read my introduction here.
Choices — we all like to have them and we feel deprived when we don’t. The same holds true for children as much as it is the case for adults. A few months ago, we had given some serious thought to the type of parents we were or were going to be and it have decided that we always have been and always will be free range parents. What I mean by that is we’re not keen on being helicopter parents and we are not keen on constant active play with Sophia. There are of course some exceptions like TV … whether or not preferred, it has crept into our daily lives and we are tolerating it — for now.
I am a basic believer that independence at an early age is a key to success in later life when your mom and dad aren’t always going to be there to help, entertain, or plan your life for you. As such, ensuring that Sophia is able to self occupy for a prolonged period of time and is essential. Self-paced exploration is key to self occupation and we try our best to allow her that basic freedom. Speaking of freedoms … sometimes you simply don’t have a choice. This is certainly true for kids… you have to eat or you have to brush your teeth and you have to do it now. I don’t believe in unnecessary tears, in forcing a child to do something they don’t want to do and am keen to quite frankly outsmart Sophia whenever I can. I noticed a few months ago that Sophia had started to take on a decidedly “No” attitude. It is entirely normal — she is just exercising her right to choose. Her choice matters and I would like her to always remember that… so we encourage her to choose but have steered her into a much more “Yes” attitude.
She always gets a choice and as the weeks go by, we try to introduce more freedom to her choice. Our “Yes” and “Choice” attitude shifts the emphasis on the action and more on the fact that it is her choice. For example, she gets to choose her clothes in the morning. She is sometimes not a fan of getting out of her pajamas (how many of us are?!), but she is much more willing when she gets to choose her clothes. Even then, she doesn’t get free reign of her closet, just a choice between a few shirts and shorts/pants. Even the smallest choices let her feel like she has a say. Having a say and exercising her choice and decision-making skills will hopefully help develop these faculties for a future as a rocket scientist or a high-stakes investment banker or … just a well-adjusted member of society where we have free choice.
{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
I usually don’t post on Saturday. But today isn’t just a regular Saturday. Today is my sister’s birthday and it is a big one. I won’t disclose how many candles belong on the cake, but let’s just say that she’s ten years older than I am. Some things in life are worth pausing, savoring and celebrating and my sister is a very special person (not just to me) who I can’t savor and celebrate enough.
A few words about what my sister is like …
1. Green eyes, auburn hair, 5 feet 7 inches tall.
2. Exceptionally smart, well-read and well rounded.
3. Everything she starts up, she always finishes. Good thing too, because I don’t respect quitters.
4. Turns out beautiful cross stitch pieces — works of art. I’ve been a lucky recipient of a few and they are family heirlooms.
5. Works hard, diligent, a big boss but you’d never know. I respect her down-to-earth demeanor. Loves to travel.
There is no one I’d rather have as a sister. Happy birthday, A! You are simply the best, better than all the rest.
Admittedly, we are spoiled with modern technologies and the conveniences that they afford us. We take our washing machines, fridges, tv, internet, cars and air conditioning (and heating) for granted. We don’t even think twice about what we have and feel as if it is our birthright.
As you can imagine, loosing any single one of these conveniences is a sudden and unpleasant shock. Three weeks ago, we lost our fridge and let me tell you… it was a real inconvenience. If we did not have a child, we’d just probably suck it up and get take-out. However, milk needs refrigeration as do all those little soups and kashas. So we made do while waiting for spare parts and technician availability.
At last, and I am afraid to jinx myself saying this, we’ve caught up with 20th century and have a working refrigerator and freezer. Equipped with two new cookbooks, I can’t seem to narrow down the weekend menu.
Now… if only I could get an appointment with Mother Nature and get a technician to fix the water that keeps dripping from the sky (rain) :-). Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day (preferably, a workday).
I spend more time outside now-a-days. Most of that time is spent running after Sophia or chauffeuring her around the neighborhood in her happening tricycle. There are those precious minutes, however, that we walk around and smell all the flowers that are in bloom. Thought I’d share what we saw in our yard today.
