Sleeping in is a thing of the past as are long coffee dates and lounging over a latte. That being said, the present is just as good if not better. This Sunday in particular marks a new, a season of being out and about, meeting people and spending time as a family. My parents aren’t the only ones who work multiple jobs to maintain a household. I am very proud of my husband for taking on three jobs for the past 7-8 months. He has his regular day job, owns his own business and took on a teaching gig at his alma mater. At last … , the teaching gig has come to an end and he’s blissfully basking in the freedom afforded by two jobs :-). This also means more family time. That, and the coming spring enabled us to make an excursion to Meridian Hill Park in D.C. to spend a lovely morning with a former co-worker of his and some friends … just … cavorting oh and slack-lining.
We all have our priorities … and Sophia’s are to pick dandelions!
… I am sure you haven’t heard of the term Nap Date before. Fear not… it is not a new concept. In fact, I now realize that nap dates are the reason parents stay sane … and have more children. Maybe, maybe not. It is the reason hubby and I stay sane. We put Sophia down for a nap and have a date — sometimes. Other times, we catch up on house/yard work. We try to leave the weekend to be as free and relaxing as possible so that we can maximise our time with Sophia and minimize our time out running errands. This weekend, we managed to squeeze a healthy lunch and a less than healthy drink to follow (yin and yang). First up is our kale and other hearty green salad with hothouse cucumber, carrot and red pepper with an avocado dressing.
Then there were the blood orange margaritas.And that, ladies and gentlemen, made for a lovely Saturday. The weather was great, the food and drink oh so delicious and seeing my husband and child spend quality time together — well, that is just about as good as life gets.
June 1st is coming up … that would be hubby’s and mine fifth wedding anniversary. Seems just like yesterday and also so long ago. Just like yesterday because I remember the day quite well and so long ago because I can see quite a few more wrinkles on my face now. We are likely going to make it a low-key celebration again given that we aren’t planning to leave Sophia and have had bigger celebrations in the past.
For our first anniversary, we went to Rome, the Positano Coast and Sicily. For our second, we went to Japan. Charleston and its glory welcomed the pregnant us for our third anniversary and I am pretty sure our fourth was spent at home trying to get sleep since we never do anymore.
But this post is really about what led to all these anniversaries. This post is about how we met in the summer of 2001 (12 years ago… wowza). Hubby was about to enter Drexel University as a Freshman. He had secured a research position in the same lab I had been working in. I had already been at Drexel a year at that point. Anyway… it just so happened that our research advisor at the time decided to send us and a few other students to a conference in Bologna, Italy for a week. Now, I ask you, who wouldn’t jump at that opportunity and take another week or two to sightsee? I know I did.
I remember arriving at the Philadelphia International Airport with my parents in tow. They insisted on dropping me off AND taking a look at these other students that were going. My parents are fairly protective and I like that. My mom takes a look at hubby, walks over to me and asks me who he is. I admit that its just another student and I don’t know much about him. She declares that he seems like a nice guy and that I should go out with him. Jewish mothers have some sort of a jew-[ra]dar — especially when their daughters are unmarried. Keep in mind now, that I was at that time seeing someone else. Thanks, MOM! That suggestion sped into my one ear and was kicked out instantaneously. Dating one person is hard enough… I never aspired to multitask in that department.
We ended up traveling to Florence and Venice and riding around in the hills of Tuscany together. Our trip was plutonic (hubby was seeing someone, too) but plenty of fun. I learned a lot about him and then our trip came to an end. That was that… until a few months later when he asked me out when neither of us were seeing anyone. The rest is … well as they say, History.
I’ll always have a warm place for Bologna not just because it shows old Westerns on an enormous screen in the evenings at the main plaza, but because it was a place where I found a new friend who eventually became my partner for life.
Who doesn’t have them? I have little regrets all the time… “I shouldn’t have eaten that piece of chocolate yesterday” or “I should have purchased that top, but I still think it was too busy…”. These are the every day, matter of fact regrets. Then there are the big regrets and of that type, I only have one. I decided to share it now because being 30 and all, I woke up and realized that I have hindsight :-). My sole regret is that I spend too much time trying my best to please even if it isn’t convenient for me. My new outlook on life is that within reason I will always place my family first. When I say within reason, I mean that I will absolutely observe proper etiquette and social conventions.
In all honesty, it probably wasn’t my new old age that gave me hindsight but rather that I’m a mom and it just so happens that wisdom rains pours on moms (and dads) all day and every day. As they say “Live and learn”.
Believe you me — I didn’t want a big to-do. I thankfully didn’t have a big party… and lets face it: putting thirty candles on a cake may have set it and the house on fire. Sisters think alike that way you see, and that is why my sister baked not just one cake for me, but two. She realized that putting all those candles on one is a fire hazard 🙂 and decided to divide the candle burden so to speak.
I know, you are dying to get all the details on the cakes. The chocolate one is a fourlayer cake with ganache filling and poured chocolate on top. That beauty right there just became my all-time favorite. The non-chocolate cake is a russian napoleon cake that consists of well over a dozen layers with a vanilla custard filling and crumb topping. Can’t go wrong with that — trust me.
Party or not, but a family dinner is de rigueur when hubby and I are visiting. Besides baking the cakes, my sister also marinated meats for the most succulent BBQ. My dad grilled. There were several side-dishes that my mom made while I played with Sophia… there is never a shortage of delicious foods when we visit my family. Despite the casualness of it all, I was happy to know that (Sophia, hubby and) I mattered and that people made time for us on a Friday night.
Children are happiest when their parents are happy. Happiness and what makes people happy differs from individual to individual. For me, happiness is travel. I cannot say I was unhappy, but I am content — now.
Hubby and me, the beach, a few days, a few books and a glass of something cold. Nothing fancy … the glamour of it all is that for us, life’s biggest luxuries are time, sun and quiet.
We did the unthinkable — left Sophia behind for a few days with Baba and Deda and headed off to sleep, read, rest, unwind, catch up and make sure new places, new people, and new foods still excited us.
Leaving her was easy. We had an understanding with my parents that they will follow our agreed-on routine and we trusted them. The most difficult part was trying not to think about Sophia and wonder what she must be doing.
As they say, nothing worthwhile comes easy. I couldn’t wait to run off the plane, to get in the car, to run into the house and to hug that child of ours. I hoped there were no delays. I missed her terribly.
It was good for us because we are not just mom and dad but regular ordinary people with hobbies, interests, and busy routines. It was good for Sophia because she will learn that while noone can replace parents, family is a close, close second. Will we leave her again? Probably not. It isn’t what you think. It’s simply that as she gets older, traveling will become easier and we will relish discovering new places with Sophia–through her eyes.
We visit my family quite a bit. In turn, they visit us often too. I’m always touched when I see Sophia’s slightly unsteady run toward our kitchen’s sliding door when hubby or I exclaim that Baba and Deda are here. Likewise, I’m always overcome with a sense of peace/relief when I peer through the window in the front door of my parents’ home and see my dad’s enthusiastic jaunt to open it for us.
Shortly after we arrive home to Delaware, it is becomes obvious that our favorite dishes are are on the stove. My mom is quick to point out that she made a few things for Sophia and that she wants to see what our little girl thinks of them. The house is filled with quiet excitement — a few precious days together.
As we usually arrive in the evening, we catch up and plan the next day or two over dinner. The next morning after hearing Sophia rouse, we invariably hear a faint knock. One of my parents is asking for the baby, offering for us to sleep in.
At first, I resist giving the baby to them, knowing they worked all week and could use the rest. After a few minutes, I relent but find that sleep evades me, anyway. I dress and come down to watch how Sophia plays and coos in my mom’s lap. I smell freshly brewed coffee, run for a hot cup and continue to catch up with my mom. I ask her why she goes to such great lengths when we come. Time and again she says that this is how it was when she, my dad, sister and I visited my Baba and Deda and this is how it should be when kids come home for a visit. She is quick to add that she wishes she made this and that: more of hubby’s favorite dishes. I’m quick to ask what about what I like?! She laughs and says that she likes to please her sons. “I don’t have to impress you; you will forgive me always”.
The time to go home creeps up and I or hubby find ourselves playing the role of Inspector General surveying goodies heading home with us. I try to limit what goes in the goody bag(s) being conscientious of the labor that goes into cooking or buying it and not wanting to take advantage. When we leave, my husband and I reminisce on yet another 5 star, all-inclusive experience. We will be back. We will always be back.
What makes the whole experience so irresistible, so amazing, isn’t the food or stiff, clean linens. It is that we simply feel expected, welcome, and thought of.
We all know about Generations X and Y (the Millennials) and now, I present to you generation i. Generation iEverythingto be more precise. My daughter is our latest [and greatest] member of this generation. What makes her a member of the i generation? Quite simply put — the fact that she is not yet 18 months old and has figured out how to use our old iPhones and the iPad.
There is simply no tricking this kid. She can’t be confined to one 2-minute episode of “Elmo” (Sesame Street). As it finishes, she simply clicks “Back” and scrolls — that’s right, scrolls — down until she finds one she likes. She selects it on YouTube, presses play and happily sits back entertained by the little multicolored creatures as they sing.
I haven’t quite figured out if I should be terrified or pleased. On the one hand, that’s pretty great that she can set up her own entertainment. On the other hand, however, what does this teach her? That technology is everywhere, that she can have information on demand and patience and rewards or special things are overrated. I gather than parenting is altogether more difficult even though we have everything available for parents and children all the time.
I am reminded of a conversation I had with our pediatrician awhile back — probably Sophia’s 14th month appointment. We were talking about her diet and what she can and cannot eat. Our doctor is a strong proponent of trying everything with the exception of shellfish. Even nuts before 2 are back en vogue. I asked him about chocolate and he looked at me a little taken back and said: “Yes, she can have chocolate but as an extremely rare, special occasion treat”. I wonder if he would say the same thing if I asked him if she can have a hand-me-down iPhone?
What’s the one thing you remember from your Passover Seder? I remember the food, the aromas, the laughter and of course the family and friends who come together to celebrate.
I remember my mother’s matzo balls, gefilte fish, my sister’s brisket, my mother-in-law’s heavenly kosher for passover chocolate concoctions. Being married is difficult during the holidays; both our families host and we have to alternate who we celebrate with.
My husband’s Bubbie has hosted a dinner in the same place for as many years as I can remember. She makes chicken soup with matzo balls and gefilte fish … those are her special touches. We look forward to seeing her, hubby’s uncles, their families and being together.
On my side of the family, my mom and sister trade off hosting. They always help each other and sometimes [hubby and] I help as well.
Last year, we didn’t go anywhere since Sophia was so young and Seder fell on a weeknight. Hubby didn’t have enough vacation days at work, Sophia was very little and so we stayed home. I am not even sure we had matzo ball soup. We were disappointed and a little lonely, and vowed to celebrate with our family next (this) year.
First night of Passover fell on a Monday (yesterday) this year, and yet again, a trip up north to Delaware/Pennsylvania seemed rather difficult. Instead of missing out on the festivities, we decided to host here in Maryland. It was quite an undertaking and I was a little apprehensive about it. Since it was our first Seder in this house, we decided to have two other firsts: first time using our nice china and first time using silverware that Bubbie gifted us for the wedding.
The attendees were my parents, hubby’s parents and his two grandmothers and my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. The menu was a smorgasbord of jewish delicacies including my mother’s homemade gefilte fish, mother-in-laws flour-less chocolate cake, Bubbie’s brownies, my chicken soup with matzo balls and, of course, the brisket. It was a great time.
A lot of work, a lot of smiles, laughter, memories remembered from holidays past and new ones made. I am ready for a weekend … 🙂 too bad it is Tuesday. Will I do this again? yes, absolutely.
Our family is in the midst of celebrating my sister-in-law’s engagement. She is busy planning and all this wedding planning activity is making me reminisce about my own wedding. Fear not… I am not about to write countless entries about how I planned it all.
But I will share an interesting fact about hubby and I that only our siblings and parents and two witnesses know. Although most guests think that we were married on June 1st, 2008, we were really married on September 15th, 2007. Oh and we did it in-style — in Quaker Style.
Why? Because we got engaged in September 2006 and planned to marry in June 2008 and at some point decided that we were happy and in love and we wanted to be married … now… we didn’t need to wait. Because there was something incredibly appealing about doing it OUR way, very privately, with just two witnesses and only our parents in attendance. It was casual… my mother-in-law baked a wedding cake for us as a surprise. Here’s us cutting into it.
We didn’t tell anyone about it because we didn’t want to distract from the wedding planned on June 1st. It was a classy affair.
Courtesy of Shelley and Keith PhotographyCourtesy of Shelley and Keith Photography
