On life, it’s meaning, the people we choose to walk alongside on this wild and crazy ride we call life.
My family lost someone very special this past weekend. Though not unexpected, the loss feels just as difficult as if it were sudden. I cannot fully describe my own feelings because I do not believe that I’ve really processed it all.
At times like this, when my heart feels emptier, the sage advice, to “not postpone joy”, feel as poignant as it does today.
Our weekend was otherwise calm, peaceful, relaxing, and filled with a few hours of peace and quiet while the kids enjoyed an entire day with their Baba and Deda. We made the most of Sunday-Funday with a dance class, a movie afternoon, and homemade Pizza Margherita Sophia and Evan made together.
It doesn’t happen every weekend but often enough that we have the luxury of sharing the girls with the grandparents for the whole day (breakfast-late afternoon). Until this weekend, the honor belonged to my parents but this Saturday Evan’s parents rolled out the craft carpet and welcomed Sophia and Eliza into their home.
What happens at Grammie and Pop’s house, stays at Grammie and Pop’s house. Whatever they did, Eliza and Sophia came home overjoyed. Meanwhile, while the kitties were away, the mice (Evan and I) played.
There were breakfast tacos with pico de gallo and guacamole, and an afternoon movie. It wasn’t all relaxation though—we cooked up a storm to get a head start on the workweek. There was chili, bahn mi turkey burgers, an egg salad, and a banana bread to round out the savories. Whew! I’m tired just remembering all the cooking not to mention the work itself. All in all, the weekend went by too quickly. We are grateful to have gotten an opportunity to enjoy a meal in peace, watch a movie in the afternoon, and just … be.
Not really cold, no, but colder than it was a week ago when we were all courted by mother nature and her 69+* temperatures. In any event, we here were not impressed by the sudden drop in temperatures and decided to stay in for the weekend. One of the girls was under the weather, too.
Preceding the rest of the weekend, we had a busy enough Friday where my in-laws babysat for us so that we could go to a holiday party. In addition to letting us have a few hours to interact with other adults, they brought over delicious cookies and bars (homemade, of course). I’ll have to try and get my mother in-law’s recipe for the date-nut bars. They were unbelievably good… I’ve been like a bee to honey near them.
Occupying two kids under 5 in a 1200 sq. ft. space can get a little overwhelming but desperation served well to inspire us; Sophia is a fan of arts and crafts and Eliza loves to construct things. We paired the two together and asked Sophia to arrange flowers using this set and draw the results. Wanting to keep up with her sister, Eliza jumped in and drew as best she could as well. So proud of their artwork they were that we affixed their prized possessions to our fridge for Baba and Deda to admire when they stopped in to visit with us and stayed for Sunday dinner.
Evan cooked beef meatballs and mashed potatoes using half the butter called for in this recipe and the results were stupendous. Thinking we ought to up the green quotient, we paired everything with trees or steamed broccoli. Saving the best for last, we shared the chocolate brownie cookies Sophia and Evan made together earlier today. It was that sort of a weekend where we stayed in, spent time as a family, and enjoyed good food and time with grandparents.
By-the-bye, that is the mantra for the next few weeks for us—family time. And as for the inspiration for the old expression? Charlotte Bronte whose works I have been consumed by while cheating on my other love, Outlander. So much to read, so little time.
… of Hanukkah is very important in our household: we make sure to break out the menorahs, latkes, sufganiyot, and ring in the holiday’s start in true Jewish style. This holiday is perhaps my most favorite and the one that I can remember celebrating when I was little even when religious observation was strictly forbidden in the USSR.
This year’s celebration didn’t disappoint when we opened our doors to my sister and parents-in-law. Evan made a beef stew carbonnade, I made latkes, my sister made sufganiyot, and ponchiki.
My in-laws brought their famous chicken fingers, the wine and most importantly, chocolate chip and gingerbread cookies. The cookies were home-made, of course. Sophia had such a blast decorating the gingerbread men and Alex enjoyed eating the decorated creations.
I can always count on my mother-in-law to pull off an amazing child activity that keeps the kids occupied and happy.
Before the cookies were decorated or perhaps shortly after, there was the lighting of the menorah. Although we have some beautiful, old menorahs, we chose to ring in this holiday with two that were made by the children in our family. The first one (shown here) is one that Sophia made with some adult supervision. The other is a menorah that Alex made for us and Sophia a few years ago. That menorah is very special to us, more valuable than any cast in silver or bronze and sculpted by an artist.
Although she is only four, Sophia will tell you that the most important part of Hanukkah is the presents. The girls weren’t disappointed with the sheer volume of presents that came from my cousins, the girls’ grand and great-grand parents, and my sister (and co.).
We don’t open all the presents at once—there are, after all, eight days of Hanukkah. Of the ones we have opened, every single one will be used, enjoyed, and played with by Sophia and Eliza. There are two, however, that will be cherished. They are the ones that Anna made for them. Eliza got a busy purse complete with a zipper, velcro, and a few other clasps. Not only is it great because she can practice all those clasps but because it is a purse, too. Every fine lady can always use another purse. Sophia received a color traveling pack with slots for markers and a note-pad. Both items were hand-made with bright fabrics and lots of love. This isn’t the first time our kids have received something handmade from their Aunt Anna. A few years ago, Sophia received the book of colors. We flipped through it the other day with Eliza who is learning about colors.
Full disclosure—we are actually homebodies. You may not think so once you hear about our weekend, but we can always rest and lounge later when the winter finally arrives and the snow starts.
Starting our Saturday in the most perfect way, we hosted friends of ours for a breakfast/brunch/lunch. I made sticky buns with a honey caramel and toasted pecans which were quite good and Evan whipped up an onion and red-pepper omelette. Freshly-made buttermilk pancakes and a butternut squash soup rounded out the menu. I can’t say this was entirely effortless, despite seeming like an easy menu but something about Eliza deciding that she needed to be cooking with me slowed me down. On the upside, I had the sweetest little helper.
Sophia and Eliza loved playing with our friends’ little girls who are three and 6 months. Eliza especially couldn’t get enough of the baby. She talked about the baby for the rest of the day. There was, despite the small quarters, plenty of hide and seek, puzzles, crafts and books. We rounded out Saturday with an evening walk to Franklin Square to see their holiday music and light show. Sunday brought Sophia’s dance class and a dinner out with some friends. Sophia and our friends’ son colored and practiced their spelling while we caught up over Mexican fare. It was a lovely night.
Between time spent with friends, we cooked, relaxed, lounged, knitted, hosted pretend tea-parties and practiced “reading”. See for yourselves!
Halloween has never been a huge part of our lives but this holiday is becoming much more fun now that we have little ones running around. Sophia requested to be a bee this year and we dutifully obliged. Old City and Society Hill were teaming with kids in costumes heading toward their schools at the end of last week. The kids, the costumes, the brightly colored trees all made for quite the magical atmosphere.
The weekend, despite the kids both getting head-colds, was spectacular. My parents took the girls on Saturday. Chicken noodle soup (homemade) and plenty of tea and other amazing eats helped Eliza and Sophia get better in no time. Meanwhile, Evan and I balanced chores, cooking, and even some quality time together. Too lazy and impatient to order take-in, I took matters into my own hands and made Singapore noodles from scratch in 15 minutes. Truly, it was done faster than I imagined, tasted super delicious despite not having made the whole thing in a wok, and I made it with a new curry blend I recently picked up. Evan made sous and we watched Star Wars with the volume set to normal not fearing that it will wake the kids up. The latter… with the volume on, for the first time in four years. Heaven. And if I must admit to other things that I have been able to return to, I’ll mention that I can now blow dry my hair in the morning. Also for the first time in four years. #parenthood
Having gotten a bit of a break on Saturday, we embraced quality time with the kids on Sunday spending the better part of the morning in pajamas. The girls received calls from Baba and Deda checking on how they were feeling and even managed to entice my parents for a short visit that evening. Sometimes, when you’re not feeling well, a call—just a call, can lift your spirits. It shows that you’re thought of, cared for, and loved. Life lessons my kids are learning firsthand.
Sophia and I also baked an upside down cranberry cake. She was fascinated about me calling it upside down and couldn’t wait to help and turn it over onto a platter after it baked. Cranberries are rich in Vitamin C, so it was obviously a decision with healthfulness in mind.
And just like that, the weekend is over, the week begins and I can once again enjoy the city’s beauty during the peak of fall foliage. Whoever said that Philadelphia is a concrete jungle, clearly doesn’t know the city well. Can you guess where this was taken?
Parenting Philosophy. What’s yours? Ours is… well, until now, ours has been elusive. Or perhaps our philosophy hasn’t been, but we’ve lacked the ability to describe it. In going through the process of placing Sophia into a pre-school, we’ve had to [fairly recently] develop a cogent description of how we approach parenting. There are many, many parenting philosophies out there and you can read all about them before you become a parent thinking that you will be this type of a parent or that type of a parent. The truth of the matter is that you will not know what kind of a parent you will be until you have your child(ren) and they shape you as a parent much like you shape them as people. And so, after several lengthy conversations we have identified that our style is best described as a modified version of Slow Parenting. And while we do not adhere to the lack of television access, we do let our kids play with simple toys like blocks and craft because while the materials are elemental, the possibilities are limitless. We are focused on teaching the girls commitment and expect them to follow through if they’ve promised or agreed to something. “I can’t” is not an expression that is acceptable at our house because it is so final and instead, the girls can ask for help or say that this is something they “don’t know” how to do “just yet“. To some, this may be just a matter of words, but if you really think about it, these words imply very different things. “I can’t” implies finality that the fate of this task is sealed and it is beyond one’s reach while not knowing how to do something implies an opportunity to learn. Learning, extending, trying something new, and even failing, no, especially failing are critical. This outlook stems from the fact that we treat the girls as adults. Everything, and I do mean, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is explained at all ages. When Eliza refuses to put on a jacket, we patiently explain that it is cold outside and a jacket will make her warm. When Sophia gets upset that Eliza has once again destroyed a castle she diligently built with her blocks, we explain that Eliza is little and she is discovering the world. We also say that part of discovery is the process of taking something apart to learn what it is really made of and that she (Sophia) used to smash castles we built for her, too.
Lastly, Evan and I make a concerted effort to engender empathy in the girls both toward each other, toward us, our family, and others in general. Empathy goes hand in hand with love and there is no stronger bond than that between siblings and families. So here it is, our brief, and still very incomplete parenting philosophy. The beignets? These are homemade zeppole with apples because it is fall and because fried dough is the perfect place to sneak a bit more fruit.
The weekend was eventful—a trip to the zoo, a technical conference, a date-night, a dance class, and …. the zeppole. There was also 40 garlic clove chicken, homemade chicken soup, baked Japanese yam fries, and quality time with grandparents.
Sophia turned four. Four is a big deal! Almost like a recipe — a party, a good party requires a few key ingredients. Good food. Check. It also requires good cakes, several cakes. Check. Some drinks — juices for the kids and beer/wine for the adults. Check, check. Last, but absolutely critical, a good party requires friends and family.
We started planning Sophia’s party a few months ago because we like to take our time working out the menu, guests, and the theme. She was set on a Lego theme and no amount of persuasion helped convince her to change her theme. Evan and I had our hearts on a Totoro theme. We’re hopeful she’ll want to have that as her theme next year and if not, there’ll always be one of Eliza’s parties. We invited our close family and a select few friends. We would have invited more but space was limited and we wanted to leave plenty of room for the kids to enjoy catching up. As it was, there were over thirty people and lots of cousins and friends.
We made all of the food ourselves, save for a salad, a side and a kugel. There was the sausage and peppers, chicken baked in an asian broth dressed with scallions and sesame seeds, rice, a corn and edamame succotash, grilled cheese two ways, an apricot kugel, a fiesta and a quinoa salads, and stewed eggplant. I baked two cakes–a lemon layer cake and a chocolate cake. The lemon cake was a rich pound cake base with a home-made lemon curd and iced with a lemon-cream cheese frosting. The chocolate cake was death by chocolate a triple layer chocolate cake filled and iced with chocolate ganache. Lastly, and because we enjoy cooking together, Sophia and I made chocolate balls which were a rich chocolate cake mixed with ethereally light vanilla buttercream frosting and dipped in bittersweet chocolate. They were such fun to make and a huge hit at the party.
The adults socialized, the kids played, we sang happy birthday, blew out candles, ate cake, and opened presents. Sophia was thrilled that her friends and family made the time to join us in celebrating her birthday. She loved her presents. This birthday was for Sophia but it was a family party where we came together with people we love and spent time catching up.
The picture is a bit fuzzy… it is the best one I have until my sister and brother-in-law look through their pictures. They hosted the party opening their house to our guests and helped enormously. Their selfless generosity is the very definition of family. This is what families, real, close-knit families do–make time, open their home, their hearts, and enjoy the pitter patter and laughter of tiny guests. I couldn’t be happier that Sophia and Eliza are learning by example. And thank you Anna, David and Alex for your open home and open hearts. Truly.
The much anticipated Pope’s visit has come to an end and in a few short hours life will be back to normal.
Admittedly, we did not know what to expect in choosing to stay in the city and shuttering ourselves in. I was concerned about crowds, but my worries turned out to be unsubstantiated.
We did work from home on Friday and took it easy the rest of the weekend. There was laundry, cooking, and fall cleaning. Missing what has become a weekly delicious delivery service from my parents which usually consists of things like blintzes and a full dinner (often sustaining us for more than 1 night), I got down to business and made … blintzes.
Evan made japanese meatballs with home-made teriyaki sauce and now I won’t ever try store bought. Not even from fancy gourmet brands. Besides all of the daily household chores, there was old fashioned family time without any external distractions or incentives to go and do something. Old-school family time. We didn’t rush anywhere, not even the park or playground in the mornings. Lazy, coffee-laden breakfasts morphed into play, into snacks, lunches and spontaneous movie nights.
As I folded the 6th load of kids’ clothes, having pruned both the girls’ closets and readied them for the coming cooler months, I realized that I have, gradually, embraced the business of the typical weekend, just as I have the changes to my life after becoming a mom.
The beauty of it all became suddenly obvious. I don’t miss labor and delivery or the first few weeks at home with a newborn, mastitis, colicky babies, changing (and paying for) 12+ diapers a day, blowouts, and what my mother-in-law charmingly calls the bewitching hour. I miss the little things like sibling kisses, baby hugs, and first tall castles out of wood blocks. Rather, I don’t miss them just yet, but I know that I will, miss them, one day when they’re not so readily available. This weekend? This weekend I missed my mom’s blintzes and her birthday. Happy Birthday, Mama!
I am not sure how it even happened. This past Saturday was the first time Evan and I had a chance to be at home and have the whole (1300 sq. ft.) place to ourselves. Realistically, with the exception of our two trips and two weddings in the last four years, no one other than us has ever put our kids to bed. Even when we [seldom] do go out on date night, we manage to get home in time for bath and bedtime. While that is our preference, it doesn’t mean that we, like most adults, don’t crave a bit of freedom to go out and feel carefree. In any event, it finally happened when my parents invited the kids out for a whole day of Baba and Deda fun. There was play-doh, as ordered by Sophia well in advance, time with Alex (a surprise to the girls), Rita’s Water Ice, and playground fun. Evan and I dropped the kids off right after breakfast and picked them up after stopping by a wonderful house party my longtime friend was having.
Sophia and Eliza had an amazing time. They felt and looked refreshed, exhilarated and thoroughly loved on. We too were happy to have had more than two hours to ourselves in the city we love. An XLB-filled lunch left us sated and fortified for a few hours at a local beer garden where we enjoyed the glorious weather, a few board games, and the beautiful surroundings. And while I’d like to give you the impression that we wined and dined the entire day, we did not. Before going out to lunch, we made enough [frozen] breakfast burritos to last us a month, baked a pie, made amazing chicken cutlets, and even better salmon avocado summer rolls. There may have been ricotta pancakes topped with raspberries, too. I can neither confirm or deny that. Judge for yourselves.
A good great weekend to round out the summer and hopefully, usher in a new era where the kids feel more secure about visiting and staying with grandparents.
