There is nothing like a birthday to remind you that time does fly. We celebrated a spectacular milestone with family this weekend marking Evan’s and my nephew Alex’s 12th birthday. Where did the time go? When did he get so big? When will I have to look up to see his sweet face and kind eyes? Too soon, I fear.
We had had an eventful week complete with a cold, and ear infection, grumpy kids, and a few business trips to D.C., so I was relieved that all Alex wanted was for me to make my chocolate balls. Sweeter than the balls themselves is my awesome helper who donned her serious baking apron to help pour bittersweet chocolate over perfectly shaped spheres of chocolate goodness. For anyone who needs a few extra details, the balls are a double chocolate cake base with vanilla buttercream frosting dipped in bittersweet chocolate. Sophia loved being able to make something that Alex loves and was just as excited to sign her name on his birthday card on her own. This was the first time she signed her name. Ever.
Aside from dance classes and birthday parties, we are excited about seeing the girls play together more and more. Eliza loves PlayDoh and is enjoying cutting and stamping shapes into her rolled out dough. There may also be quite a bit of dancing and music at our house these days to keep the cold & rainy fall doldrums away. See for yourself.
Who doesn’t love getting mail? Not email, but snail mail. Letters in envelops personally addressed in beautiful cursive script? I know I do, and in this case, Sophia is a girl after my own heart. Actually, Evan’s Bubbie keeps a beautiful card and letter-writing tradition alive. Sophia has been fortunate enough to enjoy cards on many occasions from Bubbie and she treasures each one just so. Kids learn by example and Evan and I weren’t surprised when Sophia asked us to help her write a letter to her cousin Alex. Alex had just celebrated a birthday and was having a low-key celebration with his friends this weekend.
This letter is more than just a letter (in Evan’s hand)—it is direct evidence of the close and loving bond that she and Alex share. He isn’t just a nominal part of her life, but an integral player in her everyday. She thinks about him when they’re not together and if this is how their relationship is now, I can only imagine what it will be like when they are both adults.
Halloween has never been a huge part of our lives but this holiday is becoming much more fun now that we have little ones running around. Sophia requested to be a bee this year and we dutifully obliged. Old City and Society Hill were teaming with kids in costumes heading toward their schools at the end of last week. The kids, the costumes, the brightly colored trees all made for quite the magical atmosphere.
The weekend, despite the kids both getting head-colds, was spectacular. My parents took the girls on Saturday. Chicken noodle soup (homemade) and plenty of tea and other amazing eats helped Eliza and Sophia get better in no time. Meanwhile, Evan and I balanced chores, cooking, and even some quality time together. Too lazy and impatient to order take-in, I took matters into my own hands and made Singapore noodles from scratch in 15 minutes. Truly, it was done faster than I imagined, tasted super delicious despite not having made the whole thing in a wok, and I made it with a new curry blend I recently picked up. Evan made sous and we watched Star Wars with the volume set to normal not fearing that it will wake the kids up. The latter… with the volume on, for the first time in four years. Heaven. And if I must admit to other things that I have been able to return to, I’ll mention that I can now blow dry my hair in the morning. Also for the first time in four years. #parenthood
Having gotten a bit of a break on Saturday, we embraced quality time with the kids on Sunday spending the better part of the morning in pajamas. The girls received calls from Baba and Deda checking on how they were feeling and even managed to entice my parents for a short visit that evening. Sometimes, when you’re not feeling well, a call—just a call, can lift your spirits. It shows that you’re thought of, cared for, and loved. Life lessons my kids are learning firsthand.
Sophia and I also baked an upside down cranberry cake. She was fascinated about me calling it upside down and couldn’t wait to help and turn it over onto a platter after it baked. Cranberries are rich in Vitamin C, so it was obviously a decision with healthfulness in mind.
And just like that, the weekend is over, the week begins and I can once again enjoy the city’s beauty during the peak of fall foliage. Whoever said that Philadelphia is a concrete jungle, clearly doesn’t know the city well. Can you guess where this was taken?
Parenting Philosophy. What’s yours? Ours is… well, until now, ours has been elusive. Or perhaps our philosophy hasn’t been, but we’ve lacked the ability to describe it. In going through the process of placing Sophia into a pre-school, we’ve had to [fairly recently] develop a cogent description of how we approach parenting. There are many, many parenting philosophies out there and you can read all about them before you become a parent thinking that you will be this type of a parent or that type of a parent. The truth of the matter is that you will not know what kind of a parent you will be until you have your child(ren) and they shape you as a parent much like you shape them as people. And so, after several lengthy conversations we have identified that our style is best described as a modified version of Slow Parenting. And while we do not adhere to the lack of television access, we do let our kids play with simple toys like blocks and craft because while the materials are elemental, the possibilities are limitless. We are focused on teaching the girls commitment and expect them to follow through if they’ve promised or agreed to something. “I can’t” is not an expression that is acceptable at our house because it is so final and instead, the girls can ask for help or say that this is something they “don’t know” how to do “just yet“. To some, this may be just a matter of words, but if you really think about it, these words imply very different things. “I can’t” implies finality that the fate of this task is sealed and it is beyond one’s reach while not knowing how to do something implies an opportunity to learn. Learning, extending, trying something new, and even failing, no, especially failing are critical. This outlook stems from the fact that we treat the girls as adults. Everything, and I do mean, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is explained at all ages. When Eliza refuses to put on a jacket, we patiently explain that it is cold outside and a jacket will make her warm. When Sophia gets upset that Eliza has once again destroyed a castle she diligently built with her blocks, we explain that Eliza is little and she is discovering the world. We also say that part of discovery is the process of taking something apart to learn what it is really made of and that she (Sophia) used to smash castles we built for her, too.
Lastly, Evan and I make a concerted effort to engender empathy in the girls both toward each other, toward us, our family, and others in general. Empathy goes hand in hand with love and there is no stronger bond than that between siblings and families. So here it is, our brief, and still very incomplete parenting philosophy. The beignets? These are homemade zeppole with apples because it is fall and because fried dough is the perfect place to sneak a bit more fruit.
The weekend was eventful—a trip to the zoo, a technical conference, a date-night, a dance class, and …. the zeppole. There was also 40 garlic clove chicken, homemade chicken soup, baked Japanese yam fries, and quality time with grandparents.
It hasn’t been just about birthdays, tutu’s, and parties around here. On occasion, when properly overstimulated with life, I take a bit of time to ponder all things intangible. Some thoughts…
Respect, similarly to trust, is like a beautiful crystal vase—it can be broken, put together, and enjoyed once more but never the same way.
Family is the most important thing in the world, but not the family you are born into, the one you choose to be a part of and the one you make for yourself. There is a famous quote from theVelveteene Rabbit where the Skin Horse tells the rabbit that real isn’t how you are made, but real is what you become after being loved for a long, long time. We aren’t born siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. We become them through our actions and through being there.
The real challenge of parenthood isn’t sleepless nights and picky eaters, it is raising children with just enough discipline so that they retain their spirit to object, to stand up for something they care for, and continue to be fun.
Sophia isn’t a girly girl, but she does like to dress up. She asked to have a tutu dress for her birthday party and my parents sourced her a beautiful retro-inspired piece from a small-batch maker in Australia. That is her sole fancy/tutu dress. I wanted her birthday to be memorable and everything about it to be how she liked it. I’ll save the dress and maybe one day, she’ll dress her daughter in it. Though come to think of it, maybe Eliza can have a turn in it in a year or two.
We took the girls out on Saturday for a little photo shoot to commemorate Sophia’s birthday and grab Eliza’s almost 16th month picture, too. I have been waiting to use the cardigan Sophia is wearing for almost four years. My sister knitted it for Sophia in honor of her baby naming. Knitted in bamboo yarn, a deep raspberry red, this raglan cardigan is studded with beautiful and intricate lace stitches.
I seem to recall that the cardigan took something like eighty hours to knit and while I can put a price on the yarn and the hours themselves, the effort, the initiative, and the love that went into it are priceless.
Sweeter than the balls themselves is my awesome helper who donned her serious baking apron to help pour bittersweet chocolate over perfectly shaped spheres of chocolate goodness. For anyone who needs a few extra details, the balls are a double chocolate cake base with vanilla buttercream frosting dipped in bittersweet chocolate. Sophia loved being able to make something that Alex loves and was just as excited to sign her name on his birthday card on her own. This was the first time she signed her name. Ever.
